Every time I settle down to meditate, I begin with around ten minutes of mettā meditation:
the practice of loving-kindness.
Although mettā is a well-established part of Buddhist meditation, it is only relatively recently that I have fully incorporated it into my own daily practice. Since doing so, I have found it quietly transformative.
The purpose of mettā meditation is simple in principle, though perhaps not always easy in practice:
to cultivate compassion, kindness, patience, and goodwill toward ourselves and others.
Within Buddhism, this widening circle of kindness may include:
- family
- friends
- strangers
- difficult people
- and ultimately all sentient beings
The Words of Loving-Kindness
A typical mettā reflection may include phrases such as:
May you be well, happy, and peaceful.
May no harm come to you.
May you always enjoy spiritual success.
May you be patient, courageous, understanding, and determined in overcoming the inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.
May you overcome them with morality, integrity, forgiveness, compassion, mindfulness, and wisdom.
These words are not intended as empty repetition.
At their best, they become a way of gently shaping the mind toward kindness and away from hostility, resentment, or agitation.
Metta Sutta
“As a mother protects her child, her only child, with her life, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.”
Beginning with Ourselves
One thing that changed for me after my recent pilgrimage to Nepal was the understanding that mettā meditation must also include oneself.
For many years I directed thoughts of loving-kindness outwardly toward others, but rarely toward myself.
Now, when meditation begins, the words first become:
“May I be well, happy, and peaceful…”
At first this felt unfamiliar.
But gradually I began to recognise something important:
if we cannot sincerely wish peacefulness and compassion for ourselves, it becomes much harder to genuinely extend those qualities toward others.
This is not selfishness.
Rather, it is acknowledging our own humanity with the same patience we try to offer elsewhere.
Preparing the Mind for Meditation
What I have noticed most strongly is how profoundly mettā meditation influences the rest of my meditation.
Those first ten minutes often calm mental agitation and soften the constant momentum of thought. The mind becomes steadier and less restless.
From there, the remaining meditation period feels more grounded and focused:
whether contemplating aspects of the Dharma, observing thoughts and emotions, or reflecting on teachings such as non-self and impermanence.
Mettā creates the conditions for observation rather than struggle.
A More Complete Practice
Over time, this simple practice of loving-kindness has made meditation feel more complete.
Not because difficult thoughts disappear, but because the mind approaches them with slightly more patience and less resistance.
In a world often shaped by anxiety, conflict, and endless distraction, the quiet cultivation of goodwill can feel surprisingly powerful.
Perhaps mettā meditation does not change the whole world.
But it can gradually change the way we relate to ourselves, to others, and to the unfolding experience of daily life.
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